There is no shortage of advice out there on how to have a happy marriage. I’m not going to be arrogant enough to say that I have the ultimate answers either. What I do have is a happy marriage, so I figured I’d examine the reasons why and share them with you.
First and foremost, I think you need to be attracted to your partner. Considering that 50% of all marriages fail, and one of the leading factors is one partner straying from the relationship for intimacy elsewhere, being attracted to your wife or husband better be there. I’m pretty sure this factor is something that most marriages have, at least in the beginning.
One factor that I don’t think a lot of marriages have is mutual respect for their partners. I have witnessed husbands say things to their wives, or wives do things in front of their husbands that would absolutely never happen in my marriage. That’s not to say that my marriage is immune to this kind of stuff, only that since both my wife and I have respect for each other and understand each other, there are certain boundaries that we would never cross.
Truly enjoying each other’s company is another important ingredient to a happy marriage in my opinion. Most of the time I would much rather spend time with my wife than any other person on the planet, and I think she usually feels the same way about me. This ensures that even if it’s night after night of watching television (which we do a lot of in the winter as we are not winter people) we still enjoy our time together.
Being able to communicate effectively is a big one that is to me an absolute must in a happy marriage. I don’t mean being able to tell your wife where you’re going with the boys on Friday night or your wife telling you that you stink and to go have a shower. I’m talking about real issues, issues that come up in a marriage that if not worked out by good communication, can easily lead to divorce.
If you’re married to someone long enough, it is inevitable that there are times when your relationship will feel like it’s in a rut. In these times it is important to realize that your marriage will not be full of smiles and laughter and great sex every day. It’s not always going to be peaks. Sometimes you hit a valley. Work through these rough patches. If you have all of the building blocks of a strong marriage then you’ll weather these storms with ease.
Remember that anything worth having takes work. Don’t expect your marriage to run itself. Both partners always have to be willing to be flexible and work at their part of the relationship. If both of you always keep these things in mind, you will be destined to have a happy marriage for “as long as you both shall live”.
Be Happy J