I was talking with my brother the other day and I was asking him about work and whether he was still putting in so many hours. He laughed because I was always hammering him to stop working so much and spend more time enjoying his life.
He said I’d be happy to know that he had finally seen the light and was spending less time at the office and more time with his family and friends. I was pleased that my incessant nagging had made a difference in his life. He agreed.
He then went on to tell me about a co-worker who was like he used to be, constantly putting in extra unpaid hours and missing out on time with his young kids and wife. My brother asked him what his definition of happiness was and what did he feel were the most important things in his life. This employee went on to say that without a doubt spending time with his family was the number one thing he liked to do.
“Then why do you work so much?” my brother asked him.
This story is what prompted this post. I’ve met lots of people that say one thing and do another when it comes to finding true happiness. Hell, I used to be one of them. Like my brother’s co-worker, so many young people think there will always be time for the things they want to do, so they instead concentrate their time on work. Gotta make the bucks!
Saying that what makes people happy in life is spending time with family and then turning around and instead spending most of the time working is being a hypocrite at best. Actions speak louder than words. This is not just a saying, it is an absolute fact. I’ve witnessed this fact at work in my own life many times. My wife is my best barometer when I start falling into this trap. She is very good at pointing out when I state one thing but do another, and I love her for it. She has helped me many a time make course corrections and steer me onto a better path.
It’s empowering to think that your own actions have the ability to make you happy. Just by realizing that happiness is a choice, we can choose a path that will lead us to happiness and satisfaction, or one that will lead to unhappiness and dissatisfaction.
An author by the name of John Izzo wrote a fantastic book entitled “The five things you must discover before you die”. In this book he publishes many interviews he did with people nearing the end of their lives and whether they had any regrets. Almost all of them said that they never once regretted not spending more time at the office, but many regretted letting their career get in the way of spending more time with friends and family.
I urge you to take the time to examine your beliefs about what your own personal definition of happiness is and compare it to how you spend the bulk of your time. Make a list of all of the things you enjoy doing and then how much time each week you spend doing them. I think you’ll find the exercise enlightening. I know I did. Go out there and find true happiness.
As always, let me know how this works for you.
Be Happy. J