The study of what makes people happy is a relatively new endeavor. It has only been since the 1990’s that enough studies have been done on happiness levels to really start to get a clear picture. When psychologists started to study what makes people happy, and especially how happy they are when compared to those around them, some startling patterns begin to emerge.
One of the most interesting studies involved one particular question that gives a lot of insight as to how people feel about those around them. The participants were asked to evaluate two hypothetical situations and which one they would prefer. Would they rather be paid $50,000/yr. when everyone else around them are being paid $25,000/yr., or would they rather make $100,000/yr. when everyone else is making $200,000/yr.
Amazingly, the majority of the participants chose the first one. They would rather make less money as long as those around them are making even less than they are. This led scientists to discover that our happiness levels are closely tied to how we compare ourselves with others around us. Not a great quality to have when you figure that we really have no control over the people around us, which means we are letting their successes and failures affect our happiness.
Even if our income rises, our happiness levels do not because we will now compare ourselves to people around us who make around the same. Case in point, the United States is the richest country in the world, yet the citizens are no more or less happy than the people who reside in much poorer countries. This is because we don’t compare ourselves to the people of other countries, we compare ourselves to those directly around us.
Actually, a good habit to get into is to start comparing yourself down. What I mean by this is to compare yourself to people less fortunate than yourself. Seeing what you have that others don’t will make you feel happier about your situation. When a mother says to her greedy child to think about the kids in third world countries who don’t have any toys on Christmas morning, she is teaching that child to be happy with what he or she has instead of what he or she could have.
Another interesting study of medal winners in the Olympics showed that bronze medal winners were happier than silver medalists. This is because they would compare themselves to all the other athletes that didn’t have a medal and feel fortunate, whereas silver medalists would compare themselves to the gold medal winners and feel discouraged that they hadn’t won the gold. This is more proof that comparing down and feeling good about what you do have makes a difference to your happiness levels.
I think the main message to take away from these studies is that when it comes to what makes people happy, it’s better to not compare yourself to others and instead to have your own internal yardstick as to what makes you feel happy. Of course, if you have to compare yourself to others, the best choice is to compare down and feel grateful for what you do have, not unhappy for what you don’t.
Be Happy. J
Thanks for the insightful thoughts! Just to share, recently I had my own shot at defining happiness, which aims to be more “scientific” and “objective” (as much as this is possible for a subjective feeling such as happiness): “A person can be considered to have experienced a “happy” moment if the person chooses to re-live it as an end in itself if offered at no cost.”
For the detailed derivation of this conclusion please have a look at What is happiness? ; What do you think about this definition?
Thank you, Nick